Siren Whispers

Siren Song


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Caution

Caution is her mantra.

There is nothing quite like losing yourself

in feeling

in desire

in love,

but the path she’s on requires a spine of steel

and an open heart.

It also requires bravery 

in putting herself first.

Walls are created

 brick by brick

and they must come down in the same fashion.

Well, hers must in any case.

A dismantling that is slow,

brick by brick.

Each one replaced

with something she was missing.

Trust

Intimacy

Respect

There will be no rapid pull down of the wall,

à la Berlin,

but rather a slow chipping away at the defenses she erected

to protect her tender heart.

:

©SirenSong1208

All rights reserved

Photograph by SirenSong1208


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Combat mode

“Realizing that with two teenagers under my roof I am in perpetual combat mode as they make repeated attempts at my fortifications.”

My opening (written) salvo this morning on Twitter. Now, this is not news, not to anyone who has ever parented. Combat mode changes with every year, with every milestone said child or children reach. When we first bring them home the struggles are sleep and safety. We watch with gratitude and awe as they reach each milestone. But, with every one reached, we are that much closer to the ‘I’ word. You know what I mean. Independence. And what does that mean? It means hell on earth folks. Okay, I’m being a tad dramatic here but I think I can safely say (imagining many of you nodding your heads in agreement) that when that burning need for independence hits, your struggles truly begin. The endless questions of why, the pushback on rules, the constant and repeated attacks on your fortifications. Add to that the divide and conquer maneuver that most children instinctively know how to employ and it becomes and ‘us against them’ tactic.

Teenagers are a special type of demon, in my opinion. Now, don’t get me wrong…I love my devils, er my children, but I can honestly say that there are days I wish to employ my invisibility cloak. Because they simply are not pleasant to be around. Thank goodness there are plenty of days that are joyfulf and that kind of balances it enough that I don’t run screaming into the night.  

But back to the hell of teenagehood (yes, I realize that is not a real word but I am employing creative license). In addition to being in full throttle, achieve-my-independence mode, they are clearly beset by raging hormones that make them moody and hostile, nicely finished off by the world-revolves-around-me thinking to make most days a lovely stroll through a mine field.

I always found it amusing that childhood is categorized with ‘terrible two’s’, etc. when in reality every age could be classified that way. Tongue in cheek of course. There isn’t anything really ‘terrible’ about any of them. It is just a series of adjustments that you make with each assault on your fortifications, and it starts early.  (Clearly you have to put aside your delicate sensibilities and know that IT’S NOT PERSONAL…that’s a difficult one to swallow because some days it sure feels personal). Children do not come with a handbook, nor are parents given hazard pay (personally I think that’s a travesty and a sliding scale should be employed…increasing as they get older).

Parenting is not for the faint-hearted.” I am sure that is someone’s quote though I have no idea who. Undoubtedly another parent who has been in the trenches, and has survived the napalm of a surly teenager in the morning. 

Like many other parents who lament their children’s behavior, I love mine without limit or expectation. But, being a writer, I will always fully employ what I know and right now I know the glory and the (oft times) horror (Say it with me…’the horror, the horror’) of the teenage personality. But my love is unconditional, and they know that. I am their safe zone. 

:

©SirenSong1208 ~ 2018

Photograph taken from Pinterest, unsourced


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Only one voice

‘This is not a funeral,’ she said,

‘though I’m drowning in carnations.’

There are no condolence cards

or whiskey toasts

to memory,

only the sad nod of head

as a story becomes too familiar to all

and an end that happened long ago

becomes the final chapter

in a story that was told

with only one voice.

:

©SirenSong1208 ~ 2018

Photograph taken from Pinterest, unsourced


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Learning

And so it is that even when we are fully grown, well into adulthood, our hearts are still growing and learning.

Learning lessons we never thought we would need to learn, but finding a breath of life in that education, and feeling a youth in that rebirth.

We wonder if we may finally get it right, if we may know, at last, that path we need to traverse. We look for kindred souls, knowing that similarities are what bind us and make us strong, even in tumultuous times. We seek those who we can walk side by side with, not to be led by, but to journey with.

There is a peace that comes with this knowledge as well as a racing of the pulse, as though we are at the starting line, waiting for the gun to go off, and the race to begin.

:

©SirenSong1208 ~ 2018

Photograph taken from Pinterest, unsourced

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Her truth

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She is quiet, even when speaking,

with much going on beneath the surface.

It’s the things that she doesn’t say that you need to take heed of,

for the secrets to her are locked up within those silences

and only you can say if you are brave enough

to search for the key.

For her truth is not always bright and shiny,

a sparkling wonder and gem for you to pocket

and treasure

your precious,

her truth is raw and bloody and beating

with a heart of its own.

But it’s real

oh yes, it’s real

and it will cut you

and burn you,

but you will never feel more alive

than when she touches you

and makes you her own.

:

©SirenSong1208 ~ 2018

Photograph taken from Pinterest, unsourced

 


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Adieu

photo

And like a wave born of a swell

Another year is upon us

Racing in to the shore

Pulling the remnants of the previous year away

To memory

We bid farewell to the old year

A time of growth and awareness

Joy and loss

A new year beckons

With the promises a new day brings

The tides turning

Presenting new opportunities

And possibilities

That we should grasp 

With both hands

Before they slip away

With the tides…

:

©SirenSong1208

Watercolour art by Lia Melia

 

*May I extend my best wishes for a happy and healthy 2018 to all of you who find the time to read my words, who are generous with support and comments, who I am privileged to call friends. Happy New Year!

 


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FIN

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When something is at an end, deep inside you know.

The end credits may not yet be rolling,

but FIN is upon the screen in your mind regardless.

What can you do but immerse yourself in grace,

swallow disappointment and pain,

whether vague

because of the length of time it took to slowly and coldly unravel,

or as an immense lump in your throat

that you cannot get down because it is already clogged with hot, wet tears.

Grace means finding the best of what was

so that anger, hurt, fear

does not close the doors of your heart permanently.

It means being true to yourself

and using that as a guide to how you respond,

regardless of how you were treated.

You may never have answers as to the why of it

and there may never be any vindication for what has come before,

but grace means letting go and making your peace with that, 

and knowing you are better for it.

:

©SirenSong1208 ~ 2017

Photography by SirenSong1208