Siren Whispers

Siren Song


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Emotional bloodbath

Quite often when I write it is what I am feeling intensely at the moment and the words spill like blood from a fresh, deep cut.

When I revisit those same words, a day, a month, a year later, the emotions can still feel like a wound that has not been cauterised and I am transported back to the moment my thoughts were bared.

The feelings are not the same, but I am unable to cast an indifferent eye upon them. I find myself gazing at them from a safe distance,  peering over the rim of that abyss, no desire to wade in, hip deep, to the pain.

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Copyright ©SirenSong1208

All rights reserved


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Drowning

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Pain doesn’t advance in degrees

It’s a sudden deluge that overtakes you

filling up your lungs

with every kind of darkness

and bile

My hand rises from below

feeble with exhaustion

as I try to find the strength to battle

drowning in what is

seeking to swim

in what will be

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**I initially posted this on Instagram but within a few moments it was deleted due to “Violation of community guidelines”. I’m not sure how they were violated as there is no revealing nudity nor anything explicit. Simply an artsy photograph I chose to use to articulate my writing.

Copyright © SirenSong1208

All rights reserved

Photograph taken by SirenSong1208


6 Comments

Letting go

Letting go isn’t giving up. It isn’t failing. It’s making an investment in your future. But we get stuck, do we ever. We cling to that which isn’t making us better, or whole. We do this because we still love the other person, or we’re scared, or nostalgic, or stubborn, or many other reasons. The why isn’t important, it’s what you do after you understand the why that matters.

It takes enormous effort to make that decision, to take those first steps and embark upon that path. But once you get over the pain of ripping off the band aids you have painstakingly applied for years, it becomes freeing. And that is a surprise itself.

Amid the pain and sadness, and yes, grieving, there is a lightness. Perhaps it is confidence that the right decision has been made, or maybe it’s because we are no longer in limbo. Going through each day, seeing a very different future on the horizon, but taking no steps toward it weighed us down. Our progress was inhibited. There was no forward momentum. When you are stuck like that, feelings fester and feel tight beneath the skin.

Letting go is hard and often it is a decision you know must be made, but reconciling heart and head can take time. We step around the minefields, we navigate our pain, until we know we are strong enough to tackle it head on. And when that happens, we loosen the tether that has held us in place, that has kept us from living our lives fully. There is a freedom in realizing and believing that within every ending is a new beginning.

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Copyright © SirenSong1208

All rights reserved

Photograph by Manon Rousseau (edited)


12 Comments

FIN

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When something is at an end, deep inside you know.

The end credits may not yet be rolling,

but FIN is upon the screen in your mind regardless.

What can you do but immerse yourself in grace,

swallow disappointment and pain,

whether vague

because of the length of time it took to slowly and coldly unravel,

or as an immense lump in your throat

that you cannot get down because it is already clogged with hot, wet tears.

Grace means finding the best of what was

so that anger, hurt, fear

does not close the doors of your heart permanently.

It means being true to yourself

and using that as a guide to how you respond,

regardless of how you were treated.

You may never have answers as to the why of it

and there may never be any vindication for what has come before,

but grace means letting go and making your peace with that, 

and knowing you are better for it.

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©SirenSong1208 ~ 2017

Photography by SirenSong1208


8 Comments

Red poppies

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Fields of red poppies

Litter the landscape of my soul

Composed bleeding

Never a mess to be found

Yet the color gives voice to pain

To the wrenching hurt

Of being meticulously cut

A thousand silent times

Never noticed

My face ashen

As pretty poetry takes

My life blood

#AprilFalls

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©SirenSong1208

Artwork by Moey


10 Comments

Wax

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She can hardly breathe. 

With the flutter of nerves

And excitement

She is blind to all but her own thoughts.

The room is silent

But for the scratching sound of the match

Her senses are heightened

Sight and movement taken

The rich smell of leather permeates the air

She feels the comforting weight

Around her neck

Around her wrists and ankles

She knows what is to come

Yet not when.

He is a quiet presence

Watching her

Waiting for the right moment

Pleased with the sight of her

Cuffed and roped

Here for his pleasure

And hers

 

The first drops hit her bare skin

The burning pain

Melding into an ache

She feels down into her core

Drop after drop falls

Without end

The wax drips down her breasts

Beading upon her nipples

Dripping further upon her belly

Upon her thighs

Upon her sex

She is twisting her body to evade the wax

But without sight

Without the ability to move fully

She is powerless

The pain makes her whimper, despite herself

Tears well in her eyes

Pain and pleasure

Creating an unfamiliar feeling within her.

Knowing it arouses him

This suffering she endures

Knowing she’s pleased him

This excites her

Makes her hungry for him.

The drops continue to fall

Faster now

Each drop hotter

More painful than the last

She lets go

Stops thinking

As she falls into the pain

As drop after drop falls

All she can think of is him.

Silence

The wax no longer drips

Her pain starts to recede

The blindfold is removed

She feels the ghost of his touch

Lightly over the wax

Thumbing the encased nipple

And further down to spread her thighs

She watches as he looks at his handiwork

The wax itself is like a work of art

He kneels between her thighs

His fingers

His tongue

Dancing upon fevered flesh

Soothing and stimulating

And just as she slips over the edge

Into the abyss

He thrusts into her

Their pleasure delicious

The moment transcendent

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*This is not a new post. Blogged first two years ago and again last year it is one of my favourites so I beg your indulgence once again.

©SirenSong1208

Photograph taken from Pinterest

 


19 Comments

Difficult

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Things are not difficult.

They are often much more than that.

I do not lament my circumstances, my problems

I pull myself up by my bootstraps and get on with it

put any pain or sadness away and move forward

confident that ‘this too shall pass’

knowing that there are others

dealing with far worse things.

I plaster a smile upon my face

continue to look after those I care for

friends and family alike

comfort and sage advice

and try to right the course that I am on

if only in my mind.

But lately I feel stranded

and out of my depth.

The sea I am lost in

is cold, lonely

and filled with pain.

It’s not just one thing.

It never is, is it?

Situations, events in real life

that I cannot even comprehend at times.

Things that I could never, ever have anticipated

or prepared myself for

have taken my breath

knocked me down

and made it harder and harder

to get up each day

to remain hopeful

my natural optimism taking a beating.

My reality

is the continuous waves that crash down upon me.

Just as I take a breath

another one smacks into me and I am plunged headlong

into darkness.

Yet even with this

I still get up each day

and start anew.

Doing my best

doing what I can

and hoping that the oxygen

doesn’t run out.

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©SirenSong1208

Photograph taken from TheFormOfBeauty